Reflections

Connecting with old friends is a lot easier today than it used to be. We have Facebook, Linkedin and Twitter to thank for that.

Seeing pictures of old friends from 30 years ago has me doing a lot of reflecting. We used to call that a mid-life crisis followed by a girlfriend and a Porsche. Since the Princess won't allow me either of those, I am content to simply reflect.

The other day I told her about reconnecting with a guy I first met in the fourth grade. I mentioned that the last time I recalled seeing him was when we both skipped school and he schooled me in a game of darts in his basement.

Being the overachiever that we have all come to love, she immediately asked me how I became such a bad guy and how do we prevent Carson from the sins of the father. Naturally I was more interested in reminiscing about the dart game.

I didn't answer her. Partially because I didn't think it warranted an immediate answer (read: I disagreed on my badness)and I needed to think.

As a digression ladies, men really do need time to think about their answers. When we open our mouths we get in trouble. Thinking like a lawyer for a few minutes serves us well, even if it means we aren't as "sharing emotionally" as you would prefer.

As I said in my last blog, we get what we need. Some folks would say we only get what we can handle.

I believe that talking with your kid often and early can prevent a lot of ills. I just read (albeit in a Baldacci novel) that children form most of their psychological makeup by age 6. I don't know if that is true, and I don't care. What I do care about is happiness, love and kindness.

The old saying, people don't care how much you know until they know how much you care, applies in my world. And I want Carson to know how much I care.

As he grows up, I focus on keeping him safe physically and emotionally. And I teach him how to be considerate and think for himself. I don't want him to be an actor, a ballplayer, a lawyer or anything. I want him to find his own way.

When I was allowed to read Playboy (yes, some of us do like the articles), there used to be an advertisement on the back that I related to. It was a picture of a sax player with an open instrument case for donations. The caption read, "Do what you love. The rest comes."

As I reflected yesterday, I wonder how many of my classmates are doing what they love. Probably very few. Most people get caught up with money, debt, mortgages etc.

Of course, money makes the world go round and your kids do need financial/physical security. However, most people I have met always want their kids to be happy. They don't care whether they become financially rich, they want them to be emotionally rich.

This is in my opinion, a good departure from the past.

When I was recruiting, I noted how today's graduates from accounting schools have a more rounded background. I was in the Honors Business Program at UT. It was only offered to about a hundred or so students of over 10,000. When I met some of the kids in the program today, I found them to be smarter than we were. They also volunteered more. Had a more fuller life. Drinking and drugs may be a small part of their life, but not the focus.

The other thing I noted was they don't want to work the long hours of their parent's generation. Not because they weren't overachievers. Rather they had witnessed divorce, lost jobs and a home with parents working more than they were home. No longer did working massive hours mean success.

Now I happen to believe that the correct ground is somewhere in the middle. But if a person hedges toward time with their child instead of the corner office, how can you disagree with that?

So that is how I answer the question. Fill him with ideas, love and hope. Let the rest come.

Whatever will happen for Carson, only God and time knows. But that's Carson's story.