Legacy

Yesterday, I wrote about the hanging myself out to dry over hanging pictures with the Princess. An old friend of mine wrote me that he wondered “What was that all about? You left out some details and it was probably a good thing.”

It made me think about arguments she and I have had and then I got to thinking about the world and all of the arguments between religions, conservatives/liberals and countries.
Some of the arguments she and I have had were unfortunately in front of Carson. He is 4 ½ now and has been speaking for over two years. A couple of years ago he witnessed one of our “debates” which became heated and he moderated it by stepping in front of us and said “Daddy don’t talk to mommy, talk to me.” Oh that it were that simple, right?

But today I was thinking, maybe it is. The debates and fights people, countries and factions have are ridiculous when you break them down. For instance, liberals hate the death penalty and guns, but believe in abortion rights. Conservatives hate abortions, but love guns and the death penalty. In the end, nobody who is relatively sane really wants to kill anyone or anything. They just want the right to do it. And if you look at religion in the Middle East, there is much commonality if you look for it.

Yesterday the Princess and I got into it, when all we really wanted to do was hang pictures. Instead of handling it from a point of commonality, we handled it poorly. She will say it was all me, but you can’t argue with yourself. Perhaps if more people looked for commonality first, they wouldn’t argue. Maybe they’d stay married. Countries would stop fighting.

What does this have to do with Carson? I don’t want him to fight over stupid things. I need to teach him to fight for what’s important. Preferably he will learn when to fight, when to walk away and find the wisdom and strength to know the difference.

I grew up with a family that argued a lot over things that in the end really don’t matter. I love them and I am pretty sure they love me. But that is one family trait I want to stop with me and not pass on to Carson.

Will it happen? Knowing me….nah. But I hope. If I do, will it change the world? Probably not. But I hope that Carson does something good in the world and leaves a lasting legacy. Even if all that means is that he is a better Dad and husband than I am. But I really hope he and all of his generation change the world. And I have all the arguments as to why they will. But that’s another story.