False Advertising

I have a growing problem. Fortunately I don’t need Viagara to help it.

I also have an on-going growing problem. But I don’t take Avodart for it.

It’s funny how much advertising is directed at men these days. And it is interesting how creative advertisers have become in my lifetime.

Thirty years ago when a woman was considering bra options the only advertising on TV was a bra on a mannequin. Now they show them on hot babes. Yes sir they do. And this comment will probably get me in trouble with the Princess, but what else is new. I am a man and I have to routinely insert my foot in my mouth. At least I am being honest, the women are hot.

As for the other female necessities, they still advertise them, too. They are a little more creative about it, but men immediately start talking about something else when these ads come on the TV during the obligatory chick show that we now willingly watch because some hot TV hostess ran a segment with a less than hot doctor whose analysis suggested men and women would get along better if men were more understanding of the female mentality.

So we watch Desperate Housewives. Really eager dudes will even watch the Lifetime Channel and their myriad of real life tear jerking dramas with actresses who used to be hot and had a hot career 20 plus years ago.

Honestly, do they think we want to know about how active a woman can still be one week out of the month if they use their product? No. Quite frankly I have observed women during these ads and they don’t seem too interested either.

Then there are all of the new advertisements for men’s ailments. If your manhood is experiencing difficulty and is currently less than useful, there are at least three different pills that can help it rise to the occasion. If the same manhood is requiring too much use in the powder room during that beer infested football game, there is a pill to help with that too. Funny they are both “growing problems” and one gets you going, one stops you from going.

My problem is a little different. I currently belong to a segment that is at least 200,000 strong, if you count Sahds the way the US Census does. Meaning stay at home dads who don’t earn anything. Since I earn about half a buck a day writing, I no longer count. However, if you count dads who earn a little out of the house, then it rises to an estimated 2 million and I count. If you also count single dads who do work, then we are into another 5 million plus. None of the ads on tv caters to us when it comes to kids.

Back to school? Those ads have moms. Raising the kids. Ditto. Sick kids? Yep. You get the picture.

None of the ads considers that it could be the dad doing it. Whatever happened to equality? Now I know that they are just advertising to the majority, but if we are going to have equality then we need to have it in at least a few ads. I am not the only dad who complains about this. On the dad websites, they talk about this all the time.

Well I don’t work for an ad agency, but I did sell advertising for a year. And because I did, I accept that I am not going to change this. Why? Because national advertising is sold on a cost per point, or impression. And media buyers aren’t impressed with our numbers.

So even though we are growing, we won’t see a change in this anytime soon. And they don’t have a pill to fix it. However, you can help me with my other growing problem.

I need to increase my readership. I always email and Twitter and Facebook when I publish something new because Examiner.com tells me I should. It does work, but the only true way to get it growing more is if you, my reader, forward this or one of my other pieces on. I hear from many of you that you find these funny, so if you do, please forward to some of your friends. If they like it, they can ask to be included in my email listing.

Help me with my “growing problem” so I can fund my pill problem. Yep, I have to take cholesterol pills and the Purple Pill. Apparently they can damage my liver more than the yellow stuff carried by Clydesdales and sold by talking frogs who are tail gate tested and tail gate approved already have. But that’s another story.